Let me show you the world threw my eyes-

your grace enraptured me.

2005-11-29T16:22:22Z

5 months is too long.
each day is a little closer to you,
i hope.
Terror and I miss you more than words can describe.

Today we rejoice what you were able to give us
for the short time you were here.

My heart is broken for good, i fear.

I miss my best friend.

2005-11-28T03:03:47Z

My name is Jessika and I am a fountain of brightly colored, mixed emotions pouring down like confetti in a crowded room.

heres a lesson on cleaning:101.

2005-11-09T01:59:19Z

Ive never been so motivated about my career in all of my life.
im glad i have such an amazing person that is so far ahead of me
in my life as an educator, mentor, motivator, friend and ...
Im going to start taking more Paul Mitchell classes,
she told me i can assist her in some of her classes shes teaching
Im going to go to a Paul Mitchell Expert class next month..
Im so stoked.
I took a Paul Mitchell Core Color class yesterday,
learned alot.
So glad to be working with them.
My life might be kicking back into gear any minute now.
Im realizing who and what i need in my life
and who and what i want to eliminate from my life as well.
ah, oh well.

have a beautiful night everyone.

ps. - i love you and think of you every day.

a few beers and heartaches later...

2005-11-02T14:30:59Z

What ways are there to turn to-
What turns are there ways to find?
I want this state of mind
.nostalgia.
Positive. Nostalgia.
This is a feeling of
discontent. confusion.
This burden sings

Welcome to my life. (one week without power. sick!)

2005-11-01T03:37:53Z

As the winter slowly approaches,
the memories start to become clearer
of the times christy, nelly and I would go
to Miami Twice looking for costumes...
Or when we rented the room out at Fountain Blue...
Or last year when Steve and I carved pumpkins together
like 5 times in one week so I could bake him the pumpkin seeds.
And he painted my face so I could
go around Miami Springs and get us candy to eat.
(I still have your mask in my room not opened. Still waiting for you.)
I woke up this morning and cried my way into work
knowing that its not the same. (the 29th. = 4 months.):sigh:
And although tonight hanging out with
Christy, Adam, James and Masciel brought back
:great: comforting memories..
I cant help but talk about you and think
about how things were.
What we had was beautiful.
Your SST hat still has your scent all over it.
I wish it didn't fade..
And I wish you were here.
I took for granted every minute I ever got to look at you.
God. You are/were/will be my life forever.

Gotses. Mi Amor.

: Now im waiting for Terror to come home so I can fall asleep with her. Knowing your heartbeat still coincides with ours.:

This is a message from Doppler Jess. [:

2005-10-19T17:26:57Z

http://www.weather.com/maps/news/atlstorm24/projectedpath_large.html

WERE ALL GOING TO DIE. RUN FOR THE HILLS.

Scarf weather. Coming soon.

2005-10-18T19:24:46Z

I couldnt have asked for a better night last night. I ended up going out with Masciel and her friends to bowl at Strikers and Christy was there too, so we ended up talking for about 2 hours and sorting everything out. Im so glad to have her in my life again. And im glad that she understood everything in the end. I woke up today feeling alot better about situations in my life. Flip ended up driving me home but we got pulled over for not stopping fully at a flashing red light. So we got 2 beers and sat in my driveway for like an hour and a half talking about California and spirituality. Hes a really cool kid and I love talking to him so its cool well be living in CALI around the same time!

ps: I miss Adam Huss. I want to see you soon. ):
xo

I think im finally ready to come out of the rock ive been under for 3 months...well try at least. Thank you to everyone who has been helping me and who has helped me through
all of this, you were not forgotten..I just lost myself for a while there. I love you all.

j_vicious @ 2005-10-17T20:43:00

2005-10-18T00:44:07Z

ps: Jessika Foster is a Shady Mgrady?

Naahh.
I just dont like answering my phone.
So shut yo mouf.
Suckas.

pss: I will be your friend. Boys are stupid and girls are cute. And I am not shady.

Going bowling with Masciel and others. Wish it was like old times. But it just isnt the same I guess...
:sigh:

chow! XO

sleep with me...fetus style.

2005-10-16T01:03:32Z

Im a bad dream....in the shape of a girl.

--------------

going to poplife tonight to celebrate effies birthday.
see you all there!
--------------------

i thought id flow a little poetry for you guys.
=
.
let me carve your body into a shape
that fits perfectly like a puzzle
defined yet beautifully align with mine
and as the toxins seep through our veins
and begin to blur these visions we once had
to wait and never rush this feeling
we have for one another
are suddenly at an incoherent halt.
pick up the pieces of my broken down heart.
.

What an intense day.
im glad you are here to pick me up.
thanks, girl.

April, 3...here to you. :cheers:

2005-10-10T05:49:45Z

You were the last good thing I ever saw.

5.4.3.2.1. panic attack. i cant do this without you.

fun. high. times. yes.

2005-10-09T01:31:03Z

OYE:

WHOS GOING SHROOMING IN THE DESERT MONDAY?

:I am:

(:

j_vicious @ 2005-10-06T19:09:00

2005-10-07T02:09:26Z

make me a million dollars and make you an example.

Here Rach mi amor.

2005-10-05T22:37:33Z

List 10 things that bring you a moment of joy:
Tag six friends to do the same.

1. Talking to a stoned Denise on the phone, immitating my voice.
2. Being in LA.
3. Terror.
4. Pot.
5. Beer/Wine.
6. Sex [when I have it.] hahah.
7. Talking on the phone to my friends in dif. time zones. [:
8. Buying clothes.
9. Sex And The City.
10. Memories of Steve Escobar. And those are the best moments I have.

j_vicious @ 2005-10-05T15:30:00

2005-10-05T22:30:58Z

Hello,

I love you.

Sit on the steps and just..watch.

2005-09-30T22:12:30Z

'Theres only so much I can do for you.'

LA is amazing.
Im making plans to be out here within 7 months.
I love this city.
::closes eyes::

Theres one question, id really love to ask. (One Love)

2005-09-18T15:16:09Z

"When you expect something, it never happens."

Im out on Thursday, ill be back in late October.
Id like to end this on a good note, with everyone.
Im doing a severe evaluation on my life and myself, while im there.
Not for anyone but Jessika Lynn Foster.
Syonara.

+

This is cool.
..._...|..____________________, ,
....../ `---___________----_____|]
...../_==o;;;;;;;;_______.:/
.....), ---.(_(__) /
....// (..) ), ----"
...//___//
..//___//
.//___//

j_vicious @ 2005-09-14T13:02:00

2005-09-14T16:59:25Z

hi.

you think you have a real fuckin' answer? I real fuckin' answer ill give you.

2005-09-09T16:44:15Z

My emotions today are ridiculous.
Today I woke up missing you more than ever.
What I would give to see your beautiful face again.

I dont think I can do this.

j_vicious @ 2005-09-08T00:24:00

2005-09-08T04:24:54Z

Oh my fucking god.
Show me your gat and ill turn it into my new god damn lollipop.
Here you go: these tears shouldnt be a 'question' of 'friendship.'

Wow, read this.Or dont. I care not.

2005-09-07T03:11:53Z

I'm born.

I'm alive.

I breathe.

In a moment or two... I realize, that the sphere
Upon which I reside,
Is asleep on its feet.
Should I go back to sleep?
We orbit the sun
I grow up
My open eyes see...
A zombified, somnambulist society.
Leaving us as vitamins for the
Hibernating human animal.
Do you see what I mean?
You stare at me like I'm a vitamin.
On the surface you hate,
But you know you need me.
I'll come dressed as any pill you dream fit.
Whatever helps you swallow the truth
All the more easily.
And I wonder, will you digest me?
Into the sleep machine I won't plug in.
In fact I'd rather die before I will comply.
To you, my friend, I write the reason I still live,
'Cause in my mind it's set;
The vitamin is ripe to give.
Coming closer to another 2000 years;
You and I will pry the closed eye of the sleep machine.

j_vicious @ 2005-08-30T18:44:00

2005-08-30T23:13:54Z

Ive never met anyone like her.
Im so stoked.
The hair show was amazing.
It was MUCH needed motivation for me.
The entire weekend went perfect.
I would have only changed the timing on
some things. But other than that..
I had a fucking blast.
::crosses fingers::
I cant wait to go to work.
You motivate me.
xo.

let me show you the world threw (my) eyes.

2005-08-23T16:11:15Z

Vegas was great.
But I couldn't stop thinking how much better it would
be if you were with me.
Thats all we ever wanted to do was travel.
I woke up this morning and said out loud without knowing it;
"Why cant i just wake up and this will all be over?"
I dont know why I said it, I know why..I just dont know what triggered it.
Your mom said she hadnt felt you all weekend, and she knew you were with me on the trip.
I woke up the other morning and kissed the air before i opened my eyes. I thought it was you for a minute.
I felt crazy when i came to reality.
Whats going on.

when will it be over? Is this one of your pranks or is this for real...
and why ...........forget it.

hey you...PS:

2005-08-17T05:55:44Z

To you:
April 3rd, 1983 - I love you. Do you know that?

:kiss:

Gotses.

Ps. this is what my sisters been doing for the past few months.

2005-08-16T14:56:29Z

www.spaces.msn.com/members/beckystour

(Shes on a Road Tour with MSN music, promoting them, traveling on a [pimp] tour bus with 6 cool people..one for every genre of music.. stopping at every Concert Festival around the US...sweet? You better believe it. Suucckkaaass.)

Later doesnt always come.

2005-08-14T21:27:01Z

I cant let go of your jersey today.
Its been perched on my shoulder all afternoon.
I sprayed it with your favorite cologne.
All I can do is sit here and close my eyes smelling you-
every time I turn my head I realize its just a jersey,
and not you next to me.
And every time I inhale it, my heart hurts a little bit more.

.Michelle.-
Your words are so comforting.
Youll never know how much you mean to me.
Just knowing that theres someone here who truly understands..
is all I need.
Thanks.I love you, kid. xo.

Leaving to Steves memorial show.
.................I want to hold you and never let go.
Jesus Christ. Ive lost it.